Suomalaiset eivät osaa lausua b:tä

Vuonna 1745 painettiin Lontoossa ensimmäinen osa kirjaa A collection of voyages and travels, jonka täydellinen nimeke täyttää kokonaisen sivun. Painomustetta on onneksi käytetty myös sisällön kuvaamiseen ja näin selviää, että kirjassa julkaistu John Story's Travels through Sweden sijoittuu aikaan, jolloin kirjoittajaa ahdisti "court of Star-Chamber". Wikipedia kertoo, että kyseinen laitos lopetettiin vuonna 1640 ja kirjoituksen sisällön kursorisen tarkastelun perusteella se on valmistunut aikaisintaan vuonna 1630.

Kyseessä on siis varsin varhainen Ruotsin kuvaus, jossa Suomikin esiintyy. Eikä ainoastaan Turun tapaiset epäoleellisuudet vaan myös "... a famous river called Cumo-elffe, abounding with salmon, and several other dainty fish...". Kirjoittajan kredibiliteetin tultua näin kiistattomasti todistetuksi, pidempi lainauskin on paikallaan:

Next in order follows Finland, which some think to be so called in comparison of Sweden, as tho' it did in fruitfulness far exceed it, (who are foully deceived, for it is more probable, that it was first called Fiendland, by reason of the great hostility those Finlanders exercised against this nation, so long as they were commanded by a king of their own.) This country abounds in corn, pastures, fish, and fowl; and, finally, in such things as are most necessary for the life of man. The people are very laborious, and able to endure hardship. Of old they were esteemed the Nature mildest among all the Scanzian people, howbeit, at this day, they are somewhat harsher; and their valour in war was well witnessed in the memorable battle fought near Leipjick in Misnia. They have a peculiar language of their own; in which are some singularities to be observed, namely, that some letters they cannot pronounce, as b, d, g, and that they want the letter f, neither have they any word beginning with two consonants; and therefore, when they pronounce any such word in other languages, they leave out such letters : (and for this cause, if they be not sent abroad while they are young, they can never learn to pronounce foreign languages:) thus for gratus, they pronounce ratus; for Spes, pes; for dominus, tominus; for bonus, ponus, &c. And this is the reason why the nobles, merchants, and others of ability, send their youth to be instructed in the Swedish tongue; by which means they are afterwards fitted for the learning of any other. Again, in their language, they observe no genders, having one only article se, which they attribute to both sexes, and to all genders.

Jollei suomalaista lähetetä ulkomaille nuorena, hän ei koskaan opi lausumaan vieraita kieliä. Gratuksesta tulee ratus, spes on pes, dominus tominus, bonus ponus. Minähän sanoin, että tyyppi on luotettava tiedonantaja!